How to restrain one’s “sales” desire 如何克制自己的“销售”欲望
Many years ago, one day, I finally got a hold of the then-banned book “Animal Farm” and read it in one go, closing the book with a sigh. My thoughts were numerous, and then I couldn’t resist reading it several more times… later on, I even copied it. Then I entered the “naive crazy salesperson mode” – I wanted to recommend this book to everyone around me so badly, that my sharing desire became so strong that it turned into sales, every time I couldn’t help but “spray” instead of speaking normally. Every time I went on about the book, the other person would be perplexed, and I would be carried away, not realizing that what the other person was feeling was just me spraying and not the shining ideas I wanted to convey.
很多年前，有一天，我终于拿到了当时被禁的《动物农场》一书，一口气读完了，叹了口气合上了书。我的想法很多，然后我忍不住又读了几遍……后来，我什至复制了它。然后我进入了“天真疯狂的销售员模式”——我非常想把这本书推荐给身边的每一个人，以至于我的分享欲望变得如此强烈，以至于它变成了销售，每次我都忍不住“喷”而不是正常说话。每次我继续讲这本书，对方都会感到困惑，我会得意忘形，没有意识到对方的感受只是我在喷洒，而不是我想传达的闪亮想法。
I even made copies and gave them to my best friends… and then? There was no aftermath. After a short time, I couldn’t hold back and went to ask one of them, “Have you read it?” And then I started spraying endlessly on my own… he put up with me for a while, and finally got completely annoyed:
我什至制作了副本并将它们送给了我最好的朋友……然后？没有后果。过了一会儿，我忍不住去问其中一个人：“你读过吗？然后我开始自己无休止地喷洒……他忍受了我一会儿，终于彻底生气了：
“Aren’t you being a bit too much just because you read a book?!”
“你是不是因为看了一本书就有点过分了？！”
But I knew that I had really changed! However, the problem was that this change wasn’t written on my forehead, so how could I let others see it?
但我知道我真的变了！但是，问题是这个变化没有写在我的额头上，那我怎么能让别人看到呢？
In that moment when that impatient response hit me in the face, I was completely dumbfounded. It was one of the most important lessons of my life:
在那一刻，当那个不耐烦的反应打在我的脸上时，我完全傻眼了。这是我一生中最重要的一课：
Even the best of friends may not understand your sincerity.
即使是最好的朋友也可能不理解你的诚意。
I left with some resentment that time, but not long after, I understood:
那次我带着一些怨恨离开了，但没过多久，我就明白了：
Sincerity is most easily underestimated when spoken, and doesn’t even sound real. After realizing this, I found the truth to be very simple:
真诚在说话时最容易被低估，甚至听起来都不真实。意识到这一点后，我发现道理很简单：
Sincerity that is shown doesn’t even need to be said.
所表现出的诚意甚至不需要说。
But if I hadn’t been so heavily impacted, it wouldn’t have been so memorable.
但是，如果我没有受到如此严重的影响，它就不会如此令人难忘。
After that, I began to regularly remind myself to give up the “crazy salesperson” mode – it was quite hard to restrain that impulse at first.
在那之后，我开始经常提醒自己放弃“疯狂的销售员”模式——一开始很难克制这种冲动。
It’s not very likely for there to be no change after reading a good book. The operating system keeps updating, and the way of doing things also changes, and of course behavior patterns change as well… sometimes, my friends around me would be surprised:
读完一本好书后，不太可能没有变化。操作系统在不断更新，做事的方式也在变化，当然行为模式也在变化……有时，我周围的朋友会感到惊讶：
“How did you know?” “你怎么知道的？”
“When did you start doing this?”
“你是什么时候开始做这件事的？”
When that happens, I try to play it down as much as possible:
当这种情况发生时，我尽量淡化它：
“There’s a book called…, it’s really worth a read.”
“有一本书叫……，真的值得一读。”
When you tell someone, ‘I will help you find it,’ they would eagerly look forward to it. A few days later, I will buy a book and give it to the person. They will be very happy and grateful, and won’t scold me like, “Don’t act like you’re so different just because you read a book, what’s the big deal?!”
当你告诉别人，“我会帮你找到它”时，他们会热切地期待它。几天后，我会买一本书送给那个人。他们会非常高兴和感激，不会责骂我，“不要因为你读了一本书就表现得那么与众不同，有什么大不了的？！
As time goes on, friends around me start taking the initiative:
随着时间的流逝，我身边的朋友开始主动出击：
“Hey, Xiaolai, what’s a fun book to read recently?”
“喂，小来，最近有什么好玩的书？”
At this point, the cost of sharing is nearly zero; yes, in reality, sharing is an activity with a high cost—although it shouldn’t have a cost, and both parties should automatically benefit… but reality is far from ideal.
在这一点上，共享的成本几乎为零;是的，在现实中，分享是一项成本很高的活动——尽管它不应该有成本，双方都应该自动受益……但现实远非理想。
In fact, knowledge is difficult to spread. What usually spreads instantly are jokes, rumors, and gossip. Systematic and valuable knowledge often ends up being avoided, for unknown reasons.
事实上，知识是很难传播的。通常即时传播的是笑话、谣言和八卦。由于未知的原因，系统和有价值的知识往往最终被回避。
Promoting knowledge is truly difficult. Look at all the schools, the continuous influx of students, and the successive efforts of the teachers, yet that knowledge often doesn’t get transmitted at all.
推广知识确实很困难。看看所有的学校，不断涌入的学生，以及老师们的不断努力，但这些知识往往根本没有被传播。
Sharing is definitely a good thing. But if it becomes a burden or even triggers negative energy, it’s simply not worth it. So, don’t waste your time promoting knowledge—after all, that’s something for which you should be paid first, isn’t it? If there’s no payment, and you still face resistance, why bother?
分享绝对是一件好事。但如果它成为一种负担，甚至引发负能量，那就不值得了。所以，不要浪费你的时间去推广知识——毕竟，这是你应该首先得到报酬的事情，不是吗？如果没有付款，而您仍然面临阻力，何必呢？
Looking at it from another perspective, the difficulty of promoting knowledge lies in deeper reasons:
换个角度看，推广知识的难点在于更深层次的原因：
Merely saying it is definitely useless, it needs to be put into action, otherwise, it’s empty words;
光是说肯定没用，要付诸行动，否则就是空话;
Action isn’t always useful, there needs to be change, without change, it doesn’t count;
行动并不总是有用的，需要改变，没有改变，它就不算数;
Having change isn’t always enough, it needs to be visible change, what isn’t visible doesn’t count;
有变化并不总是足够的，它需要是可见的变化，不可见的东西不算数;
Even with visible change, it’s still not necessarily successful, because the other person may not be convinced;
即使有明显的变化，它仍然不一定成功，因为对方可能不相信;
Too much change won’t work either because the other person might be scared off and give up immediately…
太多的改变也行不通，因为对方可能会被吓跑并立即放弃……
Look, promoting knowledge is actually really hard. Therefore, the previous “enthusiasm” often turns out to be just “ignorance is bliss.”
你看，推广知识其实真的很难。因此，以前的“热情”往往只是“无知是福”。
Sometimes, someone sparks your desire to share, so you start talking, and in no time, the person says,
有时，有人激发了你分享的欲望，所以你开始说话，很快，这个人说，
“Alright, alright, just tell me directly how to do it, what you’re saying is too complicated, I don’t get it, and I don’t want to understand…”
“好了，好了，直接告诉我怎么做就行了，你说的太复杂了，我不明白，也不想明白……”
In an instant, everything becomes tasteless again, it feels even worse than being scolded—especially in situations where you mistakenly believed the other person was thoughtful… waste of time.
刹那间，一切又变得无味了，感觉比被骂还要难受——尤其是在你误以为对方体贴到的情况下……浪费时间。
Truly, we thank the Internet. It has provided us with another channel for sharing. Since I began blogging, these kinds of anxieties have completely disappeared. When I feel like sharing, I can do it online, and since there’s no specific person in mind, there’s no pressure to “get approval”—sharing has become a joyous act. Whether there is happiness derived from gaining recognition depends solely on two factors:
我们真的感谢互联网。它为我们提供了另一个分享渠道。自从我开始写博客以来，这种焦虑已经完全消失了。当我想分享时，我可以在网上进行，而且由于没有特定的人，所以没有“获得批准”的压力——分享已经成为一种快乐的行为。是否因获得认可而获得幸福感，完全取决于两个因素：
Am I truly sincere (this doesn’t need to be stated);
我是否真的真诚（这不需要说明）;
Whether I’m lucky, whether the message can reach those who understand me (it seems I’ve been lucky in this aspect all along)…
我是否幸运，信息是否能传达给那些理解我的人（看来我一直在这方面很幸运）……
As a result, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted,
结果，我感觉一个巨大的包袱被解除了，
Just do what I want to do, what’s the use of saying so much?
就做自己想做的事，说那么多又有什么用？
By doing, there is change; with change, I am happy first, whether others see it or not, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
通过实践，就有了变化;有了变化，我首先高兴，不管别人看不看，其实都无所谓，不是吗？
Speaking less leads to more focus, more focus leads to maximum change, sometimes if it scares others, it’s not my fault either, is it?
少说话会带来更多的专注，更多的专注会带来最大的改变，有时如果它吓到别人，那也不是我的错，不是吗？
This realization is, in turn, quite surprising after all.
毕竟，这种认识是相当令人惊讶的。
Originally posted 2024-04-06 08:13:52.