In fact, I rarely argue with outsiders either. 事实上，我也很少和外人争论。

Let me tell you about two personal experiences.
让我告诉你两个个人经历。

(1) Who Cares about Your Rules?
（1）谁在乎你的规则？
Around 2001, I lived in a building diagonally across from the east gate of Renmin University, next to the Contemporary Mall. There was a supermarket on the lower floor of the mall, where my wife and I used to shop regularly.
2001年左右，我住在中国人民大学东门斜对面的一栋楼里，紧挨着当代购物中心。商场的下层有一家超市，我和妻子经常在那里购物。

One winter day, after we had finished paying, we walked a few steps and realized that we had spent significantly more money than usual. It seemed odd. Upon glancing at the bill, we noticed that a bag of walnuts was priced at 148 yuan. Really? Aren’t these items usually priced at just 40-50 yuan? So, I told my wife to ask about it, thinking it must be a mistake.
一个冬天的一天，我们付完钱后，走了几步，意识到我们花的钱比平时多得多。这似乎很奇怪。我们看了一眼账单，发现一袋核桃的价格是148元。真？这些商品通常不是只有40-50元的价格吗？于是，我让妻子去问问，想着一定是搞错了。

After a while, my wife came back disheartened, telling me, “They said these are imported, and the domestic ones are priced at 48 yuan. I thought that was outrageous, so I said I didn’t want them. But they said it’s their policy that food items cannot be returned…”
过了一会儿，老婆心灰意冷地回来了，对我说：“他们说这些是进口的，国产的售价是48元。我觉得这太离谱了，所以我说我不想要他们。但他们说，这是他们的政策，食品不能退货……”

What kind of rule is that? I can understand not being able to return perishable items, but why couldn’t these packaged food items be returned? I said to my wife, “Wait here for a moment. I will go and handle this myself.”
这是什么规则？我无法退回易腐烂的物品，但为什么这些包装食品不能退货？我对妻子说：“在这里等一会儿。我会自己去处理这件事。

I went back to the shelf where we had picked up the walnuts and realized something unscrupulous about their practices. Throughout the entire supermarket, the price labels were placed below the products. But on this particular shelf, the price labels were above the products. The bag of walnuts I had casually thrown into the shopping basket was “imported.” However, right below it, on the same shelf was a package that looked identical, labeled as “domestic,” priced at 48 yuan. I had bought this product before, and even just the day before, the shelf wasn’t arranged in this manner!
我回到我们捡核桃的架子上，意识到他们的做法有些不择手段。在整个超市中，价格标签都贴在产品下方。但是在这个特定的货架上，价格标签在产品上方。我随便扔进购物篮的那袋核桃是“进口的”。然而，在它的正下方，同一个架子上有一个看起来一模一样的包装，标有“国产”，售价48元。我以前买过这个产品，甚至就在前一天，货架也不是这样布置的！

This only made me angrier. But I realized that my good mood was more important than arguing with them. So, I stood there for a while, thinking, and realized that the crucial issue wasn’t their sneaky changing of the price label’s position, but rather the so-called policy of “no returns for food items.” This was the real reason they were at fault.
这只会让我更生气。但我意识到，我的好心情比和他们争吵更重要。于是，我站在那里思考了一会儿，意识到关键问题不在于他们偷偷摸摸地改变价格标签的位置，而在于所谓的“食品不退货”政策。这是他们犯错的真正原因。

I called over a sales clerk and informed them that I wanted to return the item. She looked at me and said, “I’m sorry, sir, it’s our policy that food items cannot be returned.”
我打电话给一名售货员，告诉他们我想退货。她看着我说：“对不起，先生，我们的政策是食品不能退货。

After she finished, I said, “I know you have a policy. And it’s fine that you have a policy. But you can’t just say you have a policy. You need to show it to me. If I see your policy, then I will temporarily comply. Even though I believe your policy is illegal, that’s a different matter and can be resolved elsewhere, not here…”
她说完后，我说：“我知道你有政策。你有政策也没关系。但你不能只是说你有政策。你需要给我看。如果我看到你的政策，那么我会暂时遵守。尽管我相信你的政策是非法的，但那是另一回事，可以在其他地方解决，而不是在这里……”

She was left speechless. I deliberately urged her again, “Show me the policy. Show it to me.” After hesitating for a while, she said, “We have a policy, anyway!” Well, if you push someone to act like a thug, I wouldn’t get upset. I’d even start to feel happy. “Alright then, since you can’t produce the policy, you have no right to handle this matter… So go and call your manager over to deal with my issue.”
她无言以对。我故意再次催促她，“给我看看政策。给我看看。犹豫了一会儿，她说：“反正我们有政策！好吧，如果你逼迫某人表现得像个暴徒，我不会生气的。我甚至开始感到快乐。“好吧，既然你拿不出政策，你就没有权利处理这件事……所以去叫你的经理过来处理我的问题。

After a while, another person was led over. This time, it was a guy wearing a tie. He started off with the same old line, “I’m sorry, sir, it’s our policy that food items cannot be returned.” I deliberately raised my voice, “Do you want me to repeat myself? I have already explained that having a policy is not the issue. You need to show me. Can I be expected to comply with an unseen policy just because you said so?” I intentionally shouted, not because I was angry, but just to attract attention. When many people were watching, the manager started to panic, saying, “It’s common knowledge that food items cannot be returned!” I was no longer polite. I continued to shout, “Who do you think you’re fooling? Food items that cannot be returned are perishable goods, but why can’t packaged food items with a shelf life not be returned?”
过了一会儿，另一个人被带了过来。这一次，是一个打着领带的家伙。他以同样的老话开头，“对不起，先生，我们的政策是食品不能退货。我故意提高嗓门，“你想让我重复一遍吗？我已经解释过，制定政策不是问题。你需要给我看。难道仅仅因为你这么说，就指望我遵守一项看不见的政策吗？我故意大喊大叫，不是因为我生气，而只是为了引起注意。当很多人围观时，经理开始惊慌失措，说：“众所周知，食品不能退货！我不再客气了。我继续喊道：“你以为你在愚弄谁？不能退货的食品是易腐货物，但为什么有保质期的包装食品不能退货呢？

The clerk, who I had tortured earlier, muttered behind me, “If you can’t afford it, then don’t buy it!” These kinds of remarks are easy to provoke responses. But I genuinely wasn’t in an “angry” state, at most, I was “pretending to be angry” to show them. I just wanted to resolve the issue. It was unfortunate for her; that day, my down jacket’s pocket happened to be filled with the cash I had just withdrawn from the bank… I took out two wads of money, waved it in front of her, put it back in my pocket, and then stared at her for a while, until she looked away… Then I told the manager, “Listen carefully. My loud outburst and emotions are not meant for you personally, but because I am upset with your mall’s policies. As a manager, if you can’t show me the policy you’re talking about, you need to give me a refund. If you show me the policy, I won’t ask for a refund. But, I will report you to the consumer association because that kind of policy is definitely illegal. Also, the way your price tags are deliberately misleading is unacceptable, and this issue won’t be overlooked wherever it’s raised.”
刚才被我折磨过的店员在我身后嘀咕道：“你要是买不起，那就别买了！这类言论很容易引起反响。但我真的没有处于“生气”的状态，顶多是“装生气”给他们看。我只是想解决这个问题。这对她来说是不幸的;那天，我的羽绒服口袋里恰好装满了我刚从银行取款的现金……我掏出两沓钱，在她面前挥了挥，又放回口袋里，然后盯着她看了一会儿，直到她移开了视线……然后我告诉经理，“仔细听。我的大声爆发和情绪不是针对你个人的，而是因为我对你商场的政策感到不满。作为经理，如果你不能向我展示你所说的政策，你需要给我退款。如果你给我看保单，我不会要求退款。但是，我会向消费者协会举报你，因为这种政策绝对是非法的。此外，你的价格标签故意误导的方式是不可接受的，无论在哪里提出这个问题，都不会被忽视。

Actually, “we have a policy” has always been an excuse. Who would dare produce an obviously illegal policy for everyone to see? Yes, you have a policy, so what? I don’t have to comply with your policy. I just need to abide by the law. Can your policy stand above the law? Of course, the manager couldn’t produce the policy—because they actually didn’t have that policy—so they ended up giving me a refund.
其实，“我们有政策”一直是一个借口。谁敢拿出一个明显非法的政策让大家看到？是的，你有政策，那又怎样？我不必遵守你们的政策。我只需要遵守法律。您的政策可以凌驾于法律之上吗？当然，经理无法出示保单——因为他们实际上没有保单——所以他们最终给了我退款。