How did I miss out on a lifetime back then? 那时候我怎么错过了一辈子？
In 1988, I had just enrolled in high school. At the time, my father was teaching at Yanbian Medical College (now merged into Yanbian University). In his department, an associate professor teaching English had taken the TOEFL exam and scored 570 (out of 677), which was considered quite impressive by my father and his colleagues. This left me with an impression that the TOEFL was a difficult test with a strange-sounding name, even though I had no idea about the nature of the exam at that time.
1988年，我刚刚上高中。当时，我父亲在延边医学院（现已并入延边大学）任教。在他的系里，一位教授英语的副教授参加了托福考试，并获得了 570 分（满分 677 分），我父亲和他的同事们认为这令人印象深刻。这给我留下了一种印象，即托福考试是一项困难的考试，名字听起来很奇怪，尽管当时我对考试的性质一无所知。
Several years later, in 1993, during my third year of university, I heard that a classmate named Qian Jin from the next class was preparing to take the TOEFL. Looking back, while university students in Beijing were fervently preparing for the exam, not many people in Changchun had even heard of it.
几年后的1993年，在我大学三年级的时候，我听说隔壁班的一个叫钱进的同学准备考托福。回想起来，当北京的大学生在热切地准备考试时，长春甚至没有多少人听说过。
Considering the circumstances, it’s surprising that I considered myself well-informed — at the very least, I knew about the existence of the TOEFL and understood that it was an English exam. One evening in the dormitory, I regaled my peers about how challenging the TOEFL exam was. They were astonished to learn that even a university lecturer had spent a considerable amount of time preparing for it and only scored 570. As a result, they jokingly referred to the classmate as “牲口” (shēng kǒu) which means “livestock”.
考虑到当时的情况，令人惊讶的是，我认为自己消息灵通——至少，我知道托福的存在，并明白这是一场英语考试。一天晚上，在宿舍里，我向同学们讲述了托福考试的挑战性。他们惊讶地发现，即使是大学讲师也花了相当多的时间准备，只得了570分。结果，他们开玩笑地称这位同学为“牲口”（shēng kǒu），意思是“牲畜”。
One summer, I traveled to Beijing and visited a high school friend, Zhao Yong, who was studying computer science at Tsinghua University. While there, he pointed out a building in Zhongguancun, saying, “That’s New Oriental,” as if I should have known what he was referring to. This was the first time I had heard of New Oriental, an English training institution. It was rumored that in Beijing, attending New Oriental didn’t guarantee high scores, but not attending definitely meant low scores.
有一年夏天，我去北京拜访了一位高中朋友赵勇，他在清华大学学习计算机科学。在那里，他指着中关村的一栋建筑说，“那是新东方的”，好像我应该知道他指的是什么。这是我第一次听说新东方，一家英语培训机构。有传言说，在北京，参加新东方大学并不能保证高分，但不参加肯定意味着低分。
Many years later, after teaching at New Oriental for several years, I suddenly recalled that I had actually heard of New Oriental many years earlier, during Yu Minhong’s entrepreneurial phase. I had even passed by the place where I now taught.
许多年后，在新东方任教数年后，我突然想起，我其实早在很多年前，在俞敏洪创业阶段就听说过新东方。我甚至路过我现在教书的地方。
The discussion about the TOEFL exam and the “牲口” classmate in the university dormitory in the spring of 1993 had become quite vague in my memory. I had no idea what score the classmate had achieved in the TOEFL that year, but I knew they went to the United States the following year.
关于托福考试和1993年春天大学宿舍里“牲口”同学的讨论，在我的记忆中已经变得相当模糊了。我不知道那位同学那年的托福成绩如何，但我知道他们第二年去了美国。
At the end of 2000, after graduating from university, I had worked in sales and wholesale, earned a significant amount of money, and then spent all my savings caring for my father. I was in need of a stable job when a childhood friend, Luo Yonghao, now of Smartisan Technology, called me from Beijing and suggested, “Xiàolái, come to Beijing and teach at New Oriental. The income is good.”
2000年底，大学毕业后，我做过销售和批发工作，赚了一大笔钱，然后把所有的积蓄都花在了照顾父亲上。当我需要一份稳定的工作时，儿时的朋友罗永浩（现在是Smartisan Technology）从北京打电话给我，建议我：“夏奥莱，来北京，在新东方教书。收入不错。
By that time, I had completely forgotten about Zhao Yong mentioning New Oriental years before. Nevertheless, I inquired, “Are you sure the income isn’t low?” He reassured me saying, “With your eloquence, it will definitely be fine!”
到那时，我已经完全忘记了多年前赵勇提到新东方的事。尽管如此，我还是问道：“你确定收入不低吗？他安慰我说：“以你的口才，一定会没事的！
So, I took a train to Beijing to enroll in a course at New Oriental and spent four months studying for the TOEFL and GRE in a one-bedroom apartment in Shuangyushu, Haidian District. I achieved exceptional scores and landed a teaching position at New Oriental, where I worked for seven years. During this time, New Oriental Education & Technology Group went public on the New York Stock Exchange with the code EDU.
于是，我坐火车去北京报名参加新东方的一门课程，并在海淀区双玉树的一居室公寓里学习了四个月的托福和GRE。我取得了优异的成绩，并在新东方大学找到了一个教职，在那里我工作了七年。在此期间，新东方教育科技集团在纽约证券交易所上市，代码为EDU。
On the day when “TOEFL Core Vocabulary Breakthrough in 21 Days” was published and launched in 2003, I hosted a gathering with a group of friends. Suddenly, I thought of the time in 1993 when I passed by the old site of New Oriental while gathering components for a computer in Zhongguancun, and then I remembered the classmate we had referred to as “牲口.” I couldn’t help but shudder.
2003 年，在《TOEFL Core Vocabulary Breakthrough in 21 Days》出版并推出的那天，我和一群朋友举办了一次聚会。忽然想起1993年，我在中关村为一台电脑收集零部件时路过新东方的旧址，这时我想起了那个被我们称为“牲口”的同学。我不禁打了个寒颤。
Before this moment, I had always boasted about how at the age of 28 in 2000, I spent four months in a small room and managed to achieve high scores in the TOEFL and GRE. However, after this realization, I understood that back in 1993, during my “naïve and silly” phase, I had the opportunity to prepare for the TOEFL and GRE, which I had viewed as “impossible” at the time. It was a realization that left me feeling ashamed.
在此之前，我一直吹嘘自己在2000年28岁时，在一个小房间里度过了四个月，并在托福和GRE考试中取得了高分。然而，在意识到这一点之后，我明白了，早在 1993 年，在我“天真和愚蠢”的阶段，我有机会准备托福和 GRE，当时我认为这是“不可能”的。这种认识让我感到羞愧。
If I had prepared for the TOEFL and GRE in 1993, not in 2000 at the age of 28, the seven-year difference would have made a world of change in my life. Looking back, I realized that my mindset at that time was truly at an “animalistic” level, and it left me drenched with regret.
如果我在 1993 年准备托福和 GRE，而不是在 2000 年，当时我 28 岁，那么这七年的差异将使我的生活发生翻天覆地的变化。回想起来，我意识到我当时的心态确实处于“动物性”的水平，这让我充满了遗憾。
Ultimately, I realized that I had missed out on an entire lifetime.
最终，我意识到我错过了一辈子。
The reason for missing out is nothing more than a thought, a thought taken for granted at that time. This is a vivid example of “a fine line between success and failure”.
Taken-for-granted thoughts often stem from our surroundings, a messy concoction that gets implanted into our operating system directly, most perniciously at its foundation. Hence, they appear taken for granted, and their detrimental effects are difficult to recognize.
For example, the thought, “Learning a foreign language is difficult!”, is an example of such a “taken-for-granted thought” that becomes ingrained in our operating system, leading us to act foolishly without even realizing it… (The following video was shared in an earlier article, it is a presentation I did at TEDx in Shanghai in 2011.)
http://v.qq.com/boke/page/o/0/c/o0180h4rzzc.html
I have previously written a book, “Everyone Can Speak English” (the experiences mentioned above are also documented in that book), and in the future, I will create a dedicated channel in the “Seven Years is a Lifetime” community, called “If You Can’t Learn in Two Years, Then Forget It”…. Why? Elementary school for six years, junior high school for three years, high school for three years, and four years in college amounted to sixteen years of education, yet after graduating, being unable to hold a conversation, write, read articles, or understand movies… Isn’t that a problem?
More accurately speaking, those “taken-for-granted thoughts” are an important concept:
Beliefs
Where do the differences between people lie? In my view, the main differences are beliefs. The one that caused me to miss out for a lifetime was a backward belief:
If others can’t do it well, then I shouldn’t do it either…
Many of the things that profoundly influence our lives are small yet disproportionately important aspects.
Over these years, I’ve accumulated many astonishing examples, such as:
Not reading texts aloud properly as a child can result in poor learning ability in adulthood.
Don’t be mistaken in thinking that a lack of proficiency in language arts is unrelated to being able to excel in math… That’s not the case. Failing to read texts properly directly leads to poor memory, and poor memory definitely leads to poor learning ability. All learning relies on memory. Good memory doesn’t necessarily mean good learning, but poor memory definitely makes learning very difficult… It’s like how good cement quality doesn’t guarantee the quality of a house, but poor cement quality definitely won’t lead to a good house, right?
The scary part is that those with poor memory never consider it to be a significant problem; at most, it’s an excuse to elicit sympathy, “Oh, I just have a poor memory…” They don’t know how they ended up where they are today. Of course, they are even less likely to know that it wasn’t necessary at all— if they had listened well in the past, read and recited more, everything would have been fine; even if they missed out on that opportunity at the time, there were numerous opportunities in between to train their memory, perhaps in seemingly unrelated instances, such as “telling jokes”…
For example, there’s a question on Zhihu (a Chinese Q&A platform):
I heard that the average American reads 40 books per year, so isn’t that the equivalent of more than 3 books per month? Is this claim reliable? What’s the exact figure?
(What is the actual average number of books read by Americans per year?)
The idea behind this, and the taken-for-granted thought that hindered me for a lifetime, are fundamentally similar.
At the end of 2010, I gave a talk at a high school in Shenzhen and learned that many first and second-year high school students there read more than 50 English books in a year—they were already used to it, naturally finishing one book per week.
In that kind of environment, the “taken-for-granted” thoughts were completely different.
在那种环境下，“理所当然”的想法是完全不同的。
Reading a good book is essentially an upgrade to the operating system, or at least a small upgrade (we can call it “patching”). Then what? Some people upgrade more than 50 times a year, others at least 12 times, and some people don’t upgrade for several years and eventually settle for what they have, but they don’t feel that they’re falling behind or becoming increasingly complacent…
读一本好书本质上是对操作系统的升级，或者至少是一次小的升级（我们可以称之为“修补”）。然后呢？有些人一年升级 50 多次，有些人至少升级 12 次，有些人几年不升级，最终满足于他们所拥有的，但他们并不觉得自己落后或变得越来越自满……
In this light, many taken-for-granted thoughts are actually very dangerous. Many actually important suggestions are often difficult to convey, accept and practice because they are too broadly stated. For example, “reflection, discipline and self-regulation” is a broad statement. What is a more specific statement?
从这个角度来看，许多理所当然的想法实际上是非常危险的。许多实际上重要的建议往往难以传达、接受和实践，因为它们的陈述过于宽泛。例如，“反思、纪律和自我调节”是一个宽泛的说法。什么是更具体的说法？
We need to examine all those taken-for-granted thoughts, scrutinize them one by one, and see if they are correct or not? Whether they make sense? Should they be upgraded or replaced? This must be done carefully because those taken-for-granted thoughts implanted in the operating system without scrutiny are truly dangerous…
我们需要检查所有那些理所当然的想法，逐一检查它们，看看它们是否正确？它们有意义吗？它们应该升级还是更换？这必须小心进行，因为那些未经审查就植入操作系统的理所当然的想法真的很危险……
“New Life—Seven Years is a Lifetime” is ultimately a community, essentially made up of people who take pleasure in self-improvement. Given my experience, even if a potentially dangerous “taken-for-granted thought” is eliminated, it is invaluable. I suppose that in a slightly better environment, this process of self-examination might be relatively easier. This matter is indeed very strange:
“新生活——七年是一生”最终是一个社区，基本上由以自我提升为乐的人组成。根据我的经验，即使消除了具有潜在危险的“理所当然的想法”，它也是无价的。我想，在一个稍微好一点的环境中，这个自我检查的过程可能相对容易。这件事确实很奇怪：
Victims (with many “taken-for-granted thoughts” implanted in their minds) often don’t know what has actually happened to them;
受害者（在他们的脑海中植入了许多“理所当然的想法”）往往不知道他们到底发生了什么;
Escapees (who spend effort removing many “taken-for-granted thoughts”) often eliminate the pitfalls they could have encountered in the future because of their previous caution and diligence, so they also don’t know what has actually happened…
逃避者（他们花费精力消除许多“理所当然的想法”）往往会因为之前的谨慎和勤奋而消除他们将来可能遇到的陷阱，所以他们也不知道到底发生了什么……
If there really are parallel worlds, and we have a way to see the conditions in those parallel worlds, perhaps we won’t need parallel worlds to exist in the end?
如果真的存在平行世界，并且我们有办法看到那些平行世界的状况，也许我们最终不需要平行世界存在？
Originally posted 2024-04-05 12:05:17.