My several personal experiences and a brief summary，我的几段个人经历以及一点总结

First, let me share a few of my experiences and elaborate on what I gained from these experiences, as they laid the foundation for my subsequent growth and rebirth.
首先，让我分享一些我的经历，并详细说明我从这些经历中获得的东西，因为它们为我后来的成长和重生奠定了基础。

(1)
The first incident occurred when I was in my second year of high school, in 1989, at the age of 17. In 1984, at the age of 12, I asked my parents for 10 RMB (which was worth much more back then than it is today) to attend a computer training course at the Yanbian Youth Palace, where I learned the BASIC programming language. I participated in various competitions every year and always secured the first position. Eventually, I consistently achieved first place in the computer competitions at the youth palaces in the eastern provinces.
第一件事发生在1989年我上高中二年级的时候，当时我17岁。1984年，12岁的我向父母要了10块钱（当时比现在值钱多得多），去延边青年宫参加计算机培训班，在那里我学习了BASIC编程语言。我每年都参加各种比赛，总是获得第一名。最终，我在东部省份青年宫的计算机竞赛中一直获得第一名。

However, something happened when I was 17. Jilin Province organized a computer competition. At that time, computers were not as widely available as they are today, so the competition had limited entry slots. One sunny day, I was leisurely watching my classmates play football on the playground when someone tapped on my shoulder and asked why I wasn’t participating in the competition. I was puzzled and checked the notice board to find that my name was replaced by another student, along with two others who always participated in competitions but never won. I sought out the school’s computer room, where the list was managed by an individual named Wang, who was absent. With no way to address the situation, I instinctively made my way to the Youth Palace, where I met my mentor, Mr. Jin. After a lengthy inquiry, I burst into tears. Mr. Jin, well-versed in such matters, quickly discerned that the student who replaced me was related to Mr. Wang. He took me home to meet my parents and then, armed with a computer, accompanied me on a trip to Changchun by train. I participated in the competition, once again secured the first position, but received no award due to protests from out-of-town teachers who argued that since I wasn’t a formal qualifier, I couldn’t officially win. This competition marked my final participation in such events, and the desolate scene of Mr. Jin and me waiting at the Changchun train station remains etched in my memory. Upon returning to Yanji, I discovered that Mr. Wang had already left for Brazil. Subsequently, the top three winners of the competition were admitted to Tsinghua University through a special program, while I had to continue preparing for the college entrance examination. Consequently, I felt dejected for a very long time, to the extent that I avoided using computers for two to three years.
然而，在我17岁的时候发生了一些事情。吉林省组织了一次计算机竞赛。当时，计算机还没有像今天这样广泛使用，因此比赛的参赛名额有限。一个阳光明媚的日子，我悠闲地看着同学们在操场上踢足球，突然有人拍了拍我的肩膀，问我为什么不参加比赛。我很困惑，检查了布告栏，发现我的名字被另一个学生取代了，还有另外两个总是参加比赛但从未获胜的学生。我找到了学校的电脑室，那里的名单由一个名叫王的人管理，他不在。由于没有办法解决这种情况，我本能地前往青年宫，在那里我遇到了我的导师金先生。经过长时间的询问，我泪流满面。金先生深谙这类事情，很快就看出接替我的学生与王先生有亲戚关系。他带我回家见了我的父母，然后带着电脑，陪我坐火车去了长春。我参加了比赛，再次获得了第一名，但由于外地老师的抗议，我没有获得任何奖项，他们认为由于我不是正式的预选赛选手，我无法正式获胜。这次比赛是我最后一次参加这样的活动，我和金先生在长春火车站等候的凄凉景象一直铭刻在我的记忆中。回到延吉后，我发现王先生已经动身前往巴西。随后，比赛的前三名通过特殊项目被清华大学录取，而我则不得不继续准备高考。 因此，我在很长一段时间内感到沮丧，以至于我有两三年没有使用电脑。

Despite numerous attempts at consolation, none proved to be effective. The suffering you harbor may be indescribable, and even if you express it, others may not understand. Therefore, all attempts at consolation are utterly futile.
尽管多次尝试安慰，但没有一个被证明是有效的。你所怀有的痛苦可能是无法形容的，即使你表达了出来，别人也可能无法理解。因此，所有安慰的尝试都是徒劳的。

This experience taught me one thing:
这次经历教会了我一件事：

No one knows the extent of your suffering. Therefore, I adamantly refrain from complaining.
没有人知道你的痛苦程度。因此，我坚决不抱怨。

Over time, I came to realize that others’ awareness of my suffering was unnecessary. While this may seem unfortunate, in retrospect, it was beneficial, as it led me to forgo venting my grievances. Many years later, upon reading a quote by Zeng Guofan, “Break your teeth and swallow blood,” I resonated with it and understood that my initial choice was right. What does “breaking teeth and swallowing blood” mean? It is a quote from a letter Zeng Guofan wrote to his brother, conveying the idea that if your teeth are smashed in a fight, you must swallow the blood without spitting it out and hide your pain from others.
随着时间的流逝，我开始意识到别人对我的痛苦的认识是不必要的。虽然这看起来很不幸，但回想起来，这是有益的，因为它使我放弃了发泄我的不满。多年后，当我读到曾国藩的一句话“咬牙吞血”时，我产生了共鸣，明白了我当初的选择是对的。“折断牙齿吞血”是什么意思？这是曾国藩写给哥哥的一封信中的一句话，传达了这样一种想法：如果你的牙齿在战斗中被砸碎了，你必须吞下鲜血而不吐出来，向别人隐瞒你的痛苦。

For many years, I rarely mentioned this experience to others, almost never discussing it. Why share it now? Because it is no longer a matter of concern, and eliciting sympathy from sharing it is no longer possible. In fact, it has become a lesson that I can use as a basis for reasoning.
多年来，我很少向别人提起这段经历，几乎从不讨论它。为什么现在分享它？因为它不再是一个值得关注的问题，并且不再可能通过分享它来引起同情。事实上，它已经成为我可以用来作为推理基础的一课。

Subsequently, this became a criterion for evaluating people. For very close friends, I am understanding when they vent their grievances, offering comfort and assistance. However, if someone I am not very familiar with complains or vents grievances, I generally believe that such a person is best avoided. What’s this small matter? Complaining and venting grievances stem from having no solutions, right? Those with even some ability are busy taking action; what’s the use of complaints and grievances? That’s my view.
随后，这成为评价人的标准。对于非常亲密的朋友，当他们发泄不满时，我会理解他们，提供安慰和帮助。但是，如果我不太熟悉的人抱怨或发泄不满，我通常认为最好避免这样的人。这算什么小事？抱怨和发泄不满源于没有解决方案，对吧？那些甚至有一定能力的人都忙于采取行动;投诉和冤屈有什么用？这是我的观点。

The second experience is the college entrance examination. I was foolish and demoralized, feeling bored with studying for a period of time. I even found it uninteresting to go to college. I spent my days mingling with people in society, and surprisingly I could make money without pursuing higher education. Consequently, I became even more reluctant to go to college. Obviously, my parents did not agree with this. During the college entrance examination, I intentionally messed up one subject, thinking that this would surely result in inadequate performance. Well, in the end, my overall scores were indeed insufficient. However, despite making a mess of one subject, my final score was only two points away from the minimum required for admission to regular undergraduate programs. Surprisingly, I still had the option to go to a vocational college… But of course, I didn’t choose to do so. Instead, I eagerly ventured into the working world. However, after just two months, I regretted my decision. Particularly as my high school classmates started to send letters from all over the country, brimming with joy at leaving the constraints of their families and the excitement of living in new environments, especially in big cities… I realized how foolish I had been, still stuck in a small place, feeling quite silly. So, I enrolled in a remedial class… The students in the remedial class were all fools, and the kind of fools who didn’t believe they were fools. And I was also a fool who didn’t believe I was a fool. To top it off, I thought everyone else was a fool, and I knew that the remaining fools felt the same… My goodness, it was a living hell. I still managed to find a way to adjust myself and quickly got back on track. By the following spring, I was fully revived. However, trouble still found me.
第二个经历是高考。我很愚蠢，士气低落，对学习感到厌倦了一段时间。我甚至觉得上大学没什么意思。我整天与社会上的人打成一片，令人惊讶的是，我可以在不接受高等教育的情况下赚钱。因此，我变得更加不愿意上大学。显然，我的父母不同意这一点。在高考的时候，我故意把一门科目搞砸了，以为这样肯定会导致成绩不好。好吧，最后，我的总体成绩确实不够。然而，尽管一门科目一团糟，但我的最终分数只比普通本科课程入学的最低要求低两分。令人惊讶的是，我仍然可以选择去职业学院……但当然，我没有选择这样做。相反，我急切地冒险进入职场。然而，仅仅两个月后，我就后悔了我的决定。特别是当我的高中同学开始从全国各地寄来信件时，他们充满了离开家庭束缚的喜悦和生活在新环境中的兴奋，尤其是在大城市……我意识到自己是多么愚蠢，仍然被困在一个小地方，感觉很傻。于是，我报名参加了一个补习班……补习班的学生都是傻子，而且是那种不相信自己是傻子的傻子。我也是一个傻瓜，不相信我是个傻瓜。最重要的是，我认为其他人都是傻瓜，我知道剩下的傻瓜也有同样的感觉……我的天啊，这是一个活生生的地狱。我仍然设法找到了调整自己的方法，并很快回到了正轨。到了第二年春天，我完全恢复了活力。 然而，麻烦还是找上了我。

At that time, my father had already resigned from the medical school and started working at a foreign trade company, due to the fact that both of his children would be attending college, and the salaries of university professors were too low (my father was an English teacher, and his income was not as high as that of professors in the science and engineering fields). As a result, he was often away from home, basically in the Soviet Union (which is now Russia). My father majored in Russian in college. After graduation, the relationship between China and the Soviet Union broke down. Luckily, he had also studied English as a minor during his college years, which was the reason he could find a relevant job later on. In May, my mother underwent appendix surgery. My younger brother was five years younger than me, so I was the one running back and forth between the hospital and home. By the time my father returned from the Soviet Union, my mother had already been discharged from the hospital, and everything was fine. After a few days, my father went on another business trip. Shortly after he left, in June, I had to undergo an appendix surgery… Can you believe the timing of all this? I had my surgery on June 26, and the college entrance examination was on July 7, 8, and 9. Here’s a little twist to the story. My mother worked at the medical school and knew many doctors. They came up with the idea that anesthesia would be needed for the appendix surgery, and with general anesthesia, it might affect memory. What about the college entrance examination? Then a doctor said it would be fine, and they could use a partial anesthesia method… That doctor was indeed a nationally renowned anesthesia expert, of course, my mother agreed. The result? My appendix was in a different position than others. For a typical appendectomy, the doctor just needs to press the appendix with their hand, then it comes out, they cut it, sew it, and the surgery can be completed in about five or six minutes. But in my case, after pressing several times with no success, I had to reach in to find it, it took quite a while to complete the surgery, more than forty minutes… All this while I was under partial anesthesia! Looking back now, it still makes my throat ache… So, the anesthesia didn’t affect me, but the immense pain caused a significant drop in my memory… I won’t say more, but it turned out that I failed a subject, not intentionally this time, it was a genuine failure, although I passed the cutoff point, my first choice was Peking University, it was definitely impossible, and for regular colleges, my choice was the most popular major in Central University of Finance and Economics at that time, although it was a regular college, the admission score was more than twenty points higher than the cutoff point. I was still two points short, so I couldn’t go… I failed to get into college. Later, the people in charge of enrollment at Yanbian Medical College made a deal with other colleges at the self-service dining tables during the provincial enrollment: I had a very high score, but I had left the choice of university blank (I only filled out one application for regular and key universities). When any of you go to check, use a pencil to mark my name, then if someone has a child with a difference of three to five points, give it to me, we need… This is how I was substituted, and finally got a chance to go to college, of course, a school you may not have heard of, Changchun University. And the major? It was something I’d never thought of studying, accounting. Then, my four years of college life began in a daze.
当时，我父亲已经从医学院辞职，开始在一家外贸公司工作，因为他的两个孩子都要上大学，而且大学教授的工资太低（我父亲是英语老师，收入不如理工科领域的教授）。结果，他经常离家出走，基本上是在苏联（现在是俄罗斯）。我父亲在大学主修俄语。毕业后，中苏关系破裂。幸运的是，他在大学期间还辅修了英语，这就是他后来能找到相关工作的原因。5月，我母亲接受了阑尾手术。我的弟弟比我小五岁，所以我是在医院和家之间来回奔波的人。当我父亲从苏联回来时，我的母亲已经出院了，一切都很好。几天后，父亲又出差了。在他离开后不久，六月，我不得不接受阑尾手术……你能相信这一切的时机吗？我6月26日做了手术，7月7日、8日、9日高考。这是故事的一个小转折。我母亲在医学院工作，认识很多医生。他们提出了一个想法，即阑尾手术需要麻醉，而全身麻醉可能会影响记忆力。高考呢？然后医生说没事，他们可以使用部分麻醉方法……那位医生确实是全国知名的麻醉专家，我母亲当然同意。结果呢？ 我的阑尾位置与其他人不同。对于典型的阑尾切除术，医生只需要用手按压阑尾，然后它就出来了，他们剪开，缝合，手术就可以在大约五六分钟内完成。但就我而言，按了几次都没有成功后，我不得不伸手去找它，花了相当长的时间才完成手术，四十多分钟……这一切都是在我处于部分麻醉状态时进行的！现在回想起来，它仍然让我的喉咙疼痛……所以，麻醉对我没有影响，但巨大的疼痛导致我的记忆力显着下降……我就不多说了，但事实证明我一门科不及格，这次不是故意的，是真正的失败，虽然我通过了分界点，但我的第一选择是北大，那绝对是不可能的，而对于普通大学来说，我选择的是当时中央财经大学最热门的专业， 虽然是普通大学，但录取分数比分界线高出二十多分。我还差两分，所以我不能去……我没能考上大学。后来，延边医学院的招生负责人在省招时，在自助餐桌上与其他学院做了一个交易：我得了很高的分数，但是我把大学的选择留空了（我只填写了一份正规和重点大学的申请）。当你们中的任何一个人去检查时，用铅笔标记我的名字，然后如果有人有一个相差三到五分的孩子，把它给我，我们需要……就这样，我被换了下来，终于有机会上大学了，当然，你可能没听说过的学校，长春大学。专业呢？ 这是我从未想过要学习的东西，会计。然后，我四年的大学生活开始于茫然。

What did this experience teach me? Two things:
这次经历教会了我什么？两件事：

No one can harm you, and yet, you can be very unlucky.
没有人可以伤害你，然而，你可能非常不幸。
At a critical moment, no one can help, you can only rely on yourself.
关键时刻，谁也帮不上忙，只能靠自己。
Just like the matter of taking the college entrance examination, even if your parents are in a hurry, you have to do it yourself, no one else can help.
就像考高考这件事情，就算爸妈着急，也要自己动手，别人帮不上忙。

I have a childhood friend named Luo Yonghao. Everyone knows that he didn’t go to college, and today he has achieved great success, which many people admire. So, going to college may not necessarily be very useful. However, as a friend, he was quite surprised by the fact that I was able to pass the college entrance examination. As a result, I have a little more reflection on the matter.
我有一个儿时的朋友，名叫罗永浩。大家都知道，他没有上过大学，今天却取得了巨大的成功，让很多人钦佩。所以，上大学可能不一定很有用。但是，作为朋友，他对我能够通过高考这一事实感到非常惊讶。因此，我对此事有了更多的思考。

Therefore, this experience has given me the most important lesson:
因此，这次经历给了我最重要的一课：

Failure is not frightening, what’s truly frightening is that you were just one step away from success.
失败并不可怕，真正可怕的是你离成功只有一步之遥。

Being just one step away from success, but not achieving it, at most, you are the same as before, still a fool, which is not really embarrassing, because people already knew what you were like. But in reality, you had the chance to succeed, yet you fell short by just that little bit, so you could have been different, but now you are the same. This kind of situation must be very painful, extremely painful, but you have nowhere to express it, it’s not that you don’t want to complain, frankly, the real situation is, even if you say it, people wouldn’t believe it, and of course, there’s no need to believe it.
离成功只有一步之遥，却没有实现，顶多和以前一样，还是个傻瓜，这并不是很尴尬，因为人们已经知道你是什么样子了。但实际上，你有机会成功，但你只差了那么一点点，所以你本可以与众不同，但现在你是一样的。这种情况一定很痛苦，极度痛苦，但你却无处表达，不是你不想抱怨，坦白说，真实的情况是，即使你说出来，人们也不会相信，当然，也没有必要相信。

The third experience was my time at New Oriental. When I was 28, I made a big leap by becoming a teacher at New Oriental. Why do I say it was a big leap? Well, becoming a teacher at New Oriental was quite challenging at that time and it took me several months to apply. I had to take an exam and get a score, and it so happened that during this process, the management of the Beijing branch was being transferred to a new person, resulting in a rather chaotic application process for me.
第三次经历是我在新东方的时光。28岁那年，我成为新东方的一名教师，实现了巨大的飞跃。为什么我说这是一个很大的飞跃？嗯，当时成为新东方的老师是相当具有挑战性的，我花了几个月的时间才申请。我必须参加考试并取得分数，碰巧在这个过程中，北京分公司的管理层正在转移到一个新的人身上，导致我的申请过程相当混乱。

The headmaster of the Beijing branch is someone I could never quite understand. He had his own values and ways of life and work. Looking back now, I was indeed not in great shape during the interview, I was not good-looking and my spoken English was very poor, even now my spoken English is not that good. So, I guess he was also at a loss, which led him to ask me about things like my blood type and zodiac sign. Looking back now, he was the kind of person who didn’t like to offend others. He would never directly reject someone, just like many venture capitalists I later met; they never directly say “I won’t invest in this!” but rather say, “Oh, this is too complex for me to understand right now, let me study it further.” As for me at that time, I definitely had a different understanding of this kind of interview result. I was desperate for a job, so how could I interpret such a conversation as friendly? It made me so embarrassed and angry but I couldn’t lash out, I just wanted to bang my head against the wall. At that time, New Oriental had just opened branches in Guangzhou and Shanghai, so I packed my bags and went to apply in Guangzhou. After a brief and hurried interview by the headmaster in Guangzhou, he asked me to wait, and the next day he flew back to Beijing on a business trip. I had to wait foolishly and after a week, I was told that the headmaster in Guangzhou had been replaced by the same headmaster who had interviewed me in Beijing. I felt like I was being chased throughout the entire autumn. It was really dizzying. When he saw me, I guess he was also on the verge of collapse. After hesitating for a while, he advised me to try in Shanghai. I was really furious; although I didn’t explode this time, I was a little more forceful and told him, “People like us are out here to make a living. In the past, we were called adventurers. We are reasonable, but that doesn’t mean you can be unreasonable with us.” After he listened, he was stunned for a moment and then said, “Well, you should go back and prepare well.” But not long after, a teacher bought a new car and had an accident, and suddenly couldn’t teach, so they needed someone to step in. I received a call from him asking, “Hey, Xiaolai, can you teach the fourth-level grammar?” Without even hesitating for half a second, I firmly answered, “Yes.” Then I started preparing in the middle of the night until 6:30 the next morning, and after resting for half an hour, I went out and took a taxi to teach… the first class was a hit, at the end of the class, the students applauded for over two minutes, and there were even many excited people banging on their desks. That’s how I started my new life.
北京分部的校长是我永远无法理解的人。他有自己的价值观、生活和工作方式。现在回想起来，面试时的我状态确实不是很好，长得不好看，英语口语也很差，即使现在我的英语口语也不是那么好。所以，我猜他也不知所措，这导致他问我关于我的血型和星座之类的事情。现在回想起来，他就是那种不喜欢得罪别人的人。他从不直接拒绝某人，就像我后来遇到的许多风险投资家一样;他们从不直接说“我不会投资这个！”而是说，“哦，这太复杂了，我现在无法理解，让我进一步研究它。至于当时的我，对于这种面试结果，肯定是有不同的理解。我迫切地想要一份工作，所以我怎么能把这样的谈话解释为友好呢？这让我感到非常尴尬和愤怒，但我不能猛烈抨击，我只想用头撞墙。当时，新东方刚刚在广州和上海开设分公司，于是我收拾行囊前往广州应聘。在广州校长简短而匆忙的面试后，他让我等一下，第二天他就飞回北京出差了。我不得不傻傻地等待，一个星期后，我被告知广州的校长已经被在北京面试我的那位校长取代了。整个秋天，我都觉得自己被人追赶。真是令人眼花缭乱。当他看到我时，我猜他也处于崩溃的边缘。犹豫了一会儿后，他建议我去上海试试。 我真的很生气;虽然这次我没有爆发，但我更有力地告诉他，“像我们这样的人是来这里谋生的。过去，我们被称为冒险家。我们是通情达理的，但这并不意味着你可以对我们不讲道理。他听完后，愣了一下，然后说：“好吧，你回去好好准备一下。但没过多久，一位老师买了一辆新车，出了车祸，突然不能教书了，就需要有人插手。我接到他的电话，问我：“嘿，小来，你能教四级语法吗？我甚至没有犹豫半秒，坚定地回答：“是的。然后我半夜开始准备，直到第二天早上6：30，休息了半个小时后，我出去打车去教书……第一堂课大受欢迎，下课时，同学们鼓掌了两分多钟，甚至还有不少兴奋的人在敲桌子。就这样，我开始了我的新生活。

I stayed at New Oriental for seven years, one after another.
我在新东方待了七年，一个接一个。

In fact, at the beginning, my English capability was still lacking, but I did well in the exams, and it was all because of the pressure from life. The reason I went to New Oriental was not to go abroad. There were many teachers at New Oriental who were younger and better than me. A considerable number of them were still in college, graduate school, or even younger, still studying for their undergraduate degrees. They came to New Oriental to prepare for their own study abroad. They had good English and speaking skills, so they could use New Oriental as a springboard, earn enough tuition fees, and then go to the United States for further studies. What about me? I was there to earn a relatively stable and generous salary, because my father was hospitalized back in my hometown, and I needed to make money urgently.
其实刚开始的时候，我的英语能力还欠缺，但是考试成绩不错，那都是因为生活的压力。我去新东方的原因不是为了出国。新东方有很多老师比我年轻，比我优秀。他们中的相当一部分人仍在上大学、研究生院，甚至更年轻，仍在攻读本科学位。他们来到新东方，为自己的留学做准备。他们有很好的英语和口语能力，所以他们可以把新东方作为跳板，赚到足够的学费，然后去美国深造。那我呢？我在那里挣着相对稳定和丰厚的薪水，因为我父亲在老家住院，我需要紧急赚钱。

In times of great pressure, one’s motivation may be even greater. In the summer of 2001, I came to Beijing and rented a house near the Third Ring Road, at Shuangyushu, living there day after day without going out, preparing for the TOEFL/GRE exams. The refrigerator was packed with enough food for a week, so I stayed in for a week. At that time it wasn’t called studying, but working hard. I turned off my phone because friends kept calling and asking, “Xiaolai, what are you doing?” At that time, I didn’t have the enlightenment I have today. Their questions made me feel embarrassed, and even at my age, I felt uncomfortable telling them that I was studying again… so I simply turned off the phone. You see, I was quite silly back then. Every day, apart from sleeping, I was working hard, and when I felt tired, I stood on the balcony to smoke, looking down from the high floor, feeling as small as an ant. Occasionally, I had to go to the supermarket downstairs to buy something to fill up the fridge. When I went outside, everyone seemed big, very big, making me feel very small… that’s how I managed to get a high score in just four months and then went for the interview. So, can you imagine how angry I must have been when they asked me about my zodiac sign and blood type during the interview?
在压力很大的时候，一个人的动力可能会更大。2001年夏天，我来到北京，在双玉树的三环附近租了一套房子，日复一日地住在那里，不出门，准备托福/GRE考试。冰箱里装满了一个星期的食物，所以我在里面呆了一个星期。那时候还不叫学习，而是努力工作。我关掉了手机，因为朋友们不停地打电话问：“小来，你在做什么？那时，我没有今天的觉悟。他们的问题让我感到尴尬，即使在我这个年纪，告诉他们我又在学习了，我也感到不舒服……所以我干脆关掉了手机。你看，那时候我挺傻的。每天，除了睡觉，我都在努力工作，当我感到疲倦时，我就站在阳台上抽烟，从高楼往下看，感觉自己像一只蚂蚁一样渺小。 偶尔，我不得不去楼下的超市买点东西来装满冰箱。当我出门时，每个人都显得很大，非常大，让我觉得自己很渺小……就这样，我在短短四个月的时间里就获得了高分，然后去面试了。所以，你能想象当他们在面试中问我关于我的星座和血型时，我有多生气吗？

But, by that time, I was already quite mature. According to today’s terms, I was already a person in the process of rebirth, right? So the wisest decision I made at that time was that although I disliked that person, I definitely wouldn’t let him become an obstacle on my path forward. So I avoided him by going to Guangzhou from Beijing, and when he “chased” me to Guangzhou, I avoided him again by returning to Beijing for a re-application. I wanted to achieve my own goals, rather than getting angry or sulking with others. More importantly, after many years, looking back, I found that he hadn’t really done anything wrong, and I really wasn’t that great back then. I really needed to work hard, and I really needed the opportunity to do so. So, I’m glad I decided at that time to “not hate that person, but to do my own thing,” otherwise, it would have been really embarrassing. And if I had been influenced by emotions at that time, and confused by appearances, I wouldn’t have known the significant loss I incurred years later, right?
但是，到那个时候，我已经很成熟了。按照今天的说法，我已经是一个正在转生的人了吧？所以当时我做出的最明智的决定是，虽然我不喜欢那个人，但我绝对不会让他成为我前进道路上的障碍。于是我从北京去广州避开了他，当他“追”我到广州时，我又避开了他，回到北京重新申请。我想实现自己的目标，而不是对别人生气或生闷气。更重要的是，多年后，回头看，我发现他真的没有做错什么，而我当年真的没有那么伟大。我真的需要努力工作，我真的需要机会这样做。所以，我很庆幸自己当时决定“不恨那个人，而是做我自己的事情”，否则，那会很尴尬。如果我当时受到情绪的影响，被外表所迷惑，我就不会知道多年后我遭受的重大损失，对吧？

For many years, I have always felt that period was one of the lucky starting points for me, because my calm and composed personality eventually began from that time. Once you truly cross a chasm in emotions, it really becomes irreversible, because you have understood a truth – emotions have nothing to do with the goal, and only action is relevant to “reaching the goal.”
多年来，我一直觉得那段时间对我来说是幸运的起点之一，因为我冷静沉着的性格最终就是从那段时间开始的。一旦你真正跨越了情绪的鸿沟，它就真的变得不可逆转了，因为你已经明白了一个道理——情绪与目标无关，只有行动才与“达到目标”有关。

(Summary) （摘要）

In these processes, what helped me get through, or more accurately, resist the tough times, were these beliefs:
在这些过程中，帮助我度过难关，或者更准确地说，抵抗艰难时期的，是这些信念：

No one knows your suffering. So, absolutely do not complain about it.
没有人知道你的痛苦。所以，绝对不要抱怨它。
No one is out to get you, you just might be very unlucky.
没有人会来找你，你只是可能很倒霉。
Failure is not scary, what’s frightening is being just short of success.
失败并不可怕，可怕的是与成功相差无几。
In critical moments, don’t drop the ball. No one can help you, you have to rely on yourself.
在关键时刻，不要丢球。没有人能帮助你，你必须依靠自己。
Emotions are worthless, only action is necessary.
情绪一文不值，只有行动是必要的。

Originally posted 2024-04-05 11:54:15.