Reverse shaping – the underlying force surging. 逆向整形 – 潜在的力量激增。

First, let me give you an example. A few years ago, I met a young man who had graduated from a top university in China with a degree in foreign languages. He had been working for two or three years and had been working part-time at an English training program for college entrance exams. He applied for a job as an SAT teacher. At first sight, I was impressed by his teaching experience and his standard British accent. I asked him to prepare for a month before starting to teach.
首先，让我举个例子。几年前，我遇到了一个年轻人，他毕业于中国一所顶尖大学，获得了外语学位。他已经工作了两三年，并在一个大学入学考试的英语培训项目中兼职工作。他申请了SAT老师的工作。第一眼，他的教学经验和他标准的英国口音给我留下了深刻的印象。我让他在开始教书之前准备一个月。

However, in his first class, he was complained by the students because they found several mistakes while he was teaching. At first, I tried to understand, considering that the SAT reading articles are indeed difficult. But after the second complaint, I realized there was definitely a problem. Upon careful observation, I concluded that he did not prepare for his classes seriously before teaching. He was overconfident in his English language skills and just lectured off the cuff.
然而，在他的第一堂课上，他被学生们抱怨，因为他们在他教书时发现了几个错误。起初，我试图理解，考虑到SAT阅读文章确实很难。但是在第二次投诉之后，我意识到肯定有问题。经过仔细观察，我得出结论，他在教学前没有认真准备课程。他对自己的英语语言能力过于自信，只是即兴讲课。

Naturally, I was angry and I really detest people who are not dedicated to their work. Even though I had given him a month to prepare and he had completely wasted it. I had to patiently advise him to be more serious, telling him that with his good foundation, it was a pity not to take things seriously. I gave him another chance, to go back, prepare for a week and then come again. But after five minutes of him teaching me instead of the students, I decided to dismiss him—because there was no improvement at all.
当然，我很生气，我真的很讨厌那些不敬业的人。尽管我给了他一个月的准备时间，但他完全浪费了时间。我只好耐心劝他认真一点，告诉他，以他良好的基础，不把事情当回事是很可惜的。我又给了他一次机会，让他回去，准备一个星期，然后再来。但是在他教我而不是学生五分钟后，我决定解雇他——因为根本没有进步。

How did this person, who had such a good foundation, turn out like this just a few years after graduation? It was actually due to his previous experience in part-time English training.
这个基础这么好的人，怎么毕业没几年就变成这样了？这实际上是由于他之前在兼职英语培训方面的经验。

Think about it, he was a top student in the English department of a top university, yet he was giving lessons to children who didn’t even understand the English in their college entrance exams. He could just casually get through it, not really needing to prepare, confidently speaking with no possibility of error. The students were in awe as soon as they heard his authentic pronunciation. He felt very self-assured. He was shaped by those less capable students, even without realizing it.
想想看，他是一所顶尖大学英语系的尖子生，却在给那些在高考中连英语都听不懂的孩子上课。他可以随便地度过难关，不需要真的准备，自信地说话，没有出错的可能性。学生们一听到他地道的发音，就惊叹不已。他感到非常自信。他被那些能力较弱的学生塑造了，即使没有意识到这一点。

Now, he was teaching SAT reading, facing high school students, but the articles were very challenging. Just graduating from a top English department in a Chinese university doesn’t guarantee success in these exams. In fact, most graduates from English majors in China would get low scores in these tests without proper preparation. The high school students coming to SAT training were all top-notch students. Not only were they intelligent, but they had extensive high-quality training experience. They had good study habits and were certainly not the kind of students who are passive recipients of information, unable to think independently. They were not easy to deal with and in some cases, couldn’t even be dealt with at all.
现在，他正在教SAT阅读，面对高中生，但文章非常具有挑战性。仅仅从中国大学的顶级英语系毕业并不能保证在这些考试中取得成功。事实上，大多数中国英语专业的毕业生在没有适当准备的情况下在这些考试中都会得到低分。参加SAT培训的高中生都是尖子生。他们不仅聪明，而且拥有丰富的高质量培训经验。他们有良好的学习习惯，当然不是那种被动接受信息、无法独立思考的学生。它们不容易对付，在某些情况下，甚至根本无法对付。

So, he came with the overconfidence he had developed while teaching less capable students, with a casual attitude he had developed from teaching them, and with habits he had developed from them, to face a group of young students who were not just much younger, but possibly even more capable than he was. He quickly couldn’t handle it. What did he do? He went back to teaching the college entrance exam English.
因此，他带着他在教能力较差的学生时养成的过度自信，带着他从教他们中养成的随意态度，带着他从他们那里养成的习惯，来面对一群不仅比他年轻得多，甚至可能比他更有能力的年轻学生。他很快就受不了了。他做了什么？他回去教高考英语。

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him directly the conclusion that would undoubtedly make him feel hopeless and sad, so I kindly let him go. A few years later, I bumped into him at the Hongqiao Train Station in Shanghai and asked him what he was doing. He said he had changed several jobs but had never stopped teaching college entrance exam English.
我不能让自己直接告诉他这个结论，这无疑会让他感到绝望和悲伤，所以我好心地让他走了。几年后，我在上海虹桥火车站碰到他，问他在做什么。他说，他换过几份工作，但从未停止过教高考英语。

People generally assume that in the education industry, teachers shape students. This seems natural, but as someone who spent a long time in teaching, I’ve seen the opposite happening more often:
人们普遍认为，在教育行业，教师塑造了学生。这似乎很自然，但作为一个长期从事教学工作的人，我经常看到相反的情况发生：

Many times, it’s actually the students who shape the teachers.
很多时候，实际上是学生塑造了老师。

People are easily “reverse-shaped.” You will be shaped by the people you interact with, even if you are “superior” to them. For instance, in sales, selling luxury goods, high-end products, mid-range products, buying low-end products, each person will be shaped differently. Don’t believe it? Just observe.
人们很容易“反向”。你会被与你互动的人所塑造，即使你比他们“优越”。比如在销售、销售奢侈品、高端产品、中档产品、购买低端产品时，每个人的造型都会不一样。不相信吗？只是观察。

Another good example of “reverse modeling” is when a high school student named Chen, who had just been admitted to college through recommendation, came to talk to me in 2011. He shared about running a summer camp for high school students with his friends. They actually made money, but due to lack of experience and poor financial control, they ended up losing money instead. Later, they decided to increase their influence by offering the camp for free.
“逆向建模”的另一个很好的例子是，2011年，一位名叫陈的高中生，刚刚通过推荐考上了大学，来找我谈话。他与朋友分享了为高中生举办夏令营的经历。他们确实赚了钱，但由于缺乏经验和财务控制不力，他们最终反而赔钱。后来，他们决定通过免费提供营地来增加他们的影响力。

Four years later, on Chang’an street, Chen sat in my car and told me that the advice I gave him was probably the most important he had ever received in his life. I had warned him not to engage in free or charitable activities yet, as it wasn’t the right time.
四年后，在长安街上，陈坐在我的车里告诉我，我给他的建议可能是他一生中得到的最重要的建议。我警告他不要参加免费或慈善活动，因为现在还不是时候。

I freely publish my books online because I don’t need them to make money, and more importantly, I’m confident enough not to require validation from the market. When you offer something for free or for a good cause, all you receive is praise, even if your performance is subpar. Conversely, if you dare charge even a penny, people will criticize you if any problems arise. Avoiding commercial transactions and charity is essential for receiving genuine feedback. Continuous praise, regardless of actual quality, can lead to complacency. Avoiding business dealings indefinitely will make it difficult to adapt to the real world when the time comes.
我在网上自由地出版我的书，因为我不需要它们来赚钱，更重要的是，我有足够的信心不需要市场的认可。当你免费或出于公益事业提供一些东西时，你得到的只是赞美，即使你的表现不尽如人意。相反，如果你敢收一分钱，如果出现任何问题，人们就会批评你。避免商业交易和慈善活动对于获得真实的反馈至关重要。持续的表扬，无论实际质量如何，都会导致自满。无限期地避免商业往来将使人们在时机成熟时难以适应现实世界。

Being criticized despite doing a good job is beneficial. It aids in psychological maturity and developing resilience.
尽管做得很好，但受到批评是有益的。它有助于心理成熟和培养复原力。

Over the next four years, Chen went from his freshman to senior year in college, earning millions of yuan annually. His company received a substantial investment in his final semester of his undergraduate degree. In 2015, just after graduation, his company was valued at over a billion yuan.
在接下来的四年里，陈从大学一年级升到大四，年收入数百万元。他的公司在他本科学位的最后一个学期获得了大量投资。2015年，刚毕业不久，他的公司估值就超过10亿元。

Beware of being reverse modeled into something you shouldn’t be. The sayings “Near ink, one is black; near light, one is bright” are not mere platitudes and should not be superficially understood.
当心被反向建模成你不应该成为的东西。俗话说：“近墨，一是黑;近在咫尺，一人光明“不仅仅是陈词滥调，也不应该被肤浅地理解。

Now, perhaps you understand why I’m not hesitant to use such language?
现在，也许你明白为什么我毫不犹豫地使用这种语言了吗？

Stay away from _____
远离_____

Many readers may not be accustomed to this kind of language and resolution. However, believe me, this kind of determination has saved me time and energy over the years and relieved me from many troubles and helplessness. At times when you can’t avoid certain things, you just have to struggle and critically examine yourself. Any tendency towards an undesirable direction needs to be corrected without hesitation. Be tough on yourself.
许多读者可能不习惯这种语言和分辨率。但是，相信我，这些年来，这种决心为我节省了时间和精力，使我摆脱了许多烦恼和无助。有时，当你无法避免某些事情时，你只需要挣扎并批判性地审视自己。任何朝着不良方向发展的倾向都需要毫不犹豫地纠正。对自己要强硬。

Carefully selecting your friends is crucial because they inevitably influence you. Equally important is carefully selecting everyone you face. With their greater collective power, the ongoing persistence of many people demands even more care and struggle. If possible, carefully choose the environment in which you place yourself. The geographical location is vital, far more so than most people realize.
仔细选择你的朋友是至关重要的，因为他们不可避免地会影响你。同样重要的是仔细选择你所面对的每个人。随着他们更大的集体力量，许多人的持续坚持需要更多的关怀和斗争。如果可能的话，请仔细选择您所处的环境。地理位置至关重要，远比大多数人意识到的要重要得多。

Remaining unstained while emerging from the mire and being fresh while remaining respectable is something that a lotus does, not a person. Escaping reverse modeling isn’t something that happens on its own but requires a lot of effort and struggle.
从泥潭中走出来时保持不沾染，在保持体面的同时保持新鲜，这是莲花所做的事情，而不是一个人。逃避逆向建模不是自己发生的事情，而是需要大量的努力和斗争。

People genuinely need to love themselves, but many don’t have the courage to do so.
人们真的需要爱自己，但许多人没有勇气这样做。

Originally posted 2024-04-06 10:03:01.